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ADAM BEZAAR
A personal thought diary



02/24/26 The Scary Calm
I was flying, and the plane started shaking. Turbulent weather is common in winter in the Midwest. The surprising thing was that while others were panicking and I could clearly hear the commotion caused by the turbulence, I felt calm. I did not even open my eyes. I simply recited the kalma shahadat and felt a faint smile on my face. Later, I found myself more concerned about this irrational calm of mine in the face of potential tragedy than the tragedy itself. What has happen


11/23/25 Searching for my accident
I remember how my father died. Crystal clear, as if it happened yesterday. Hard to believe it has already been eight years. I was not in Pakistan when that day unfolded, but when I say I know how my dad died, I am not talking about the chain of events that led to it. I am talking about something deeper, the state of his soul in those final moments. I know because I was the one who bathed him for his funeral. I was the one who pulled him from cold storage, washed every wound,


11/09/25 A Drop
There is a strange symmetry in this world. You are not given what you wish for, you are given what you can stand to want. Taufiq ba andaaza e himmat hai azal se . Divine help has always been in proportion to human resolve since the beginning of time. It is a frighteningly fair system. The skies are not generous or cruel, they are exact. They do not deny anyone, they only reflect back the intensity of the desire. I used to think grace was arbitrary. That some people were simpl
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